Book: Beautiful
Imperfection
Author: Hayley Oakes
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Hosted By: Francessca's Romance Reviews
Synopsis
Failure wasn’t what Cassidy Sinclair expected
when she got married … but that’s exactly what she got.
Instead of getting her happy
ever after she is struggling to adjust to living back with her unconventional parents and the chatter
of small town gossip.
Desi Cardwell was never known for his interpersonal skills and
being back in small town Tolvey, sending the rumour mill into overdrive, was not what he wanted for
himself.
Both forced home after a decade away, Cassidy and Desi begin an unlikely
alliance when she agrees to train with him at his newly opened gym.
Desi is mysterious,
guarded and borderline rude but what he lacks in charm he more than makes up for with his hard
body and devilish good looks.
Desi does not need anything to keep him in Tolvey longer
than necessary.
Cassidy needs something mind-numbing to help her forget her ex.
Both beautifully broken can they find in each other a light in the dark?
Purchase Links
Bonus Chapter
Tolvey Bound
Desi
The phone kept ringing.
It was buzzing on the bedside table, on silent,
but I was fucked if I could figure out how to turn the stupid vibrate off. I didn’t want to see anyone, I
didn’t want to talk to anyone and I certainly didn’t want to have to discuss the fucking incident for
the hundredth time with Paul Bentham. Paul Bentham, the beady eyed, grey skinned, Crane nosed
stuffed shirt who I worked for. He was one of those headmasters who was wheeled in to save the
school and so he didn’t excel at being personable. That suited me because I wasn’t a talker and I
didn’t want to be micro managed by a suit but shit, since the incident he had been all over me like a
rash.
I had always delivered as a PE teacher, always got results, the kids liked me and I
didn’t need to report to anyone. Now that had changed, I couldn’t bear the attention and I didn’t
want to talk to Paul Bentham again.
I wanted to stay in bed, drink myself stupid, wallow
in my own self pity and never ever face another single mother fucker ever again. I was cocooned
under my duvet despite the fact that it was midday and I was sure that the whole apartment stunk
of my unwashed misery after almost a week holed up alone.
I liked being alone.
The buzzing stopped, I reached out from under the comfort of my duvet and pulled the phone
underneath to check it. Oh shit, it was worse that Paul Bentham, worse that the God damn police, it
was Janice, the girl who currently thought she was my girlfriend.
We’d been ‘seeing’ each
other for about six months and the sex was pretty good but she wasn’t really hitting all the right
buttons. She had a phenomenal body, knew how to turn me on, knew how to cook, wow did she
know how to cook, and she was there whenever I fancied seeing her but … she was so bloody
annoying. It was mostly her laugh, potentially the fact that she over emphasised her words and there
was a lot of chatter. Inane, none-sensical, constant chatter. I’m not a talker, I said that, but shit I
don’t talk because I like quiet. I’m pretty sure Janine thought I was quiet so she could talk.
I
groaned and threw the phone out from under the covers again.
There wasn’t one person I
wanted to see.
Not one.
Cassidy
He left me.
My husband left
me.
How dare he leave?
I couldn’t get through half an hour without crying. The
crying was not quiet, it was not subtle and it did massively affect my whole facial appearance. I
looked like a Puffer Fish.
I had run out of sick leave at work, six months off was all I could
get before it started to affect my pay and so I went back. I needed the money now I had to cover the
bills all on my own, I needed to face reality and live my life. The problem was my life had crumbled
and I wasn’t quite sure what was left. It was like raking through the ashes after a fire to find your
precious memories. I was choking on the dust as I searched for something salvageable.
I
was back at work as a journalist but I had spent most of my first day hyperventilating in the toilets. I
would sit at my desk, stare at the screen and try … really try to write something but before I could
focus, Jack’s face would pop into my head, the tears would come and it was all I could do to stop
myself from banging my head on the desk.
I sat in the toilet stall breathing deeply to ward off
the panic attack that was building.
“Cass?” I heard my colleague Rebecca shout, she knew I was
here. If she didn’t before she came in then the heavy breathing and garbled crying would have
tipped her off.
“Yesh,” I answered, my words muffled by the misery.
“Let me in,” she said,
knocking on the door.
“No, I’m a mesh.” I screeched, “I just need a minute.” The last word
came out in a squeak and I struggled to control my emotions.
“You need to go home Cass,
you’re not ready for this, you’re not strong enough.” I heard her just outside the door but I couldn’t
bring myself to let her in.
I closed my eyes and the misery engulfed me, pulled me in
tighter, took hold of me, restricting my every essence like a Boa Constrictor that only tightened as I
struggled. I wanted to shout out, I wanted to reach forward and unlock the door, I tried to breath,
tried desperately to let air into my lungs. I started to see black spots and my mouth flapped open as I
tried to shout for Rebecca, warn her, tell her how much I loved Jack just before I died. I was pathetic,
I was a lost cause, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t live, I couldn’t exist and all these people knew it. I hated
myself and in this toilet stall my body had finally given up.
The blackness came, I
gasped for air but it refused to enter my lungs.
“Cass!” Rebecca was shouting, “Cass!”
she kept shouting and she started to bang on the door. I heard her, I could no longer see, I heard my
heart, I heard it racing, was I dead or dying? The last thing I remembered hearing was Rebecca’s
panicked screams, “Heeeelp! Oh someone please help.”
Desi
I hadn’t saved
much money and I couldn’t pay the rent without a job. I handed my notice in, wrote a letter to
Bentham and didn’t look back. I was no longer a PE teacher, three years of university had gone up in
smoke and I no longer had a profession. I had fucked every single thing up with one mistake.
I was in the city that I loved, the city that had given me a new life and a new identity. In
Manchester I wasn’t one of the Cardwell brothers, I wasn’t one of the motherless wretches who all
Tolvey women wanted to mother. No one knew me in Manchester and no one gossiped about me, it
was refreshing after my small town upbringing but now I was going to have to leave it all behind.
I had run out of money, I had run out of options.
My big brother Santi was on my
case, he’d been threatening to come up to Manchester since the boy died in my care. I hadn’t told
him, hadn’t contacted him but when I dumped Janine, she had. She got it in her head that I needed
them, she was mistaken in thinking I had any emotional attachments to my family. I was numb, I
didn’t have the same feelings as the rest of them and I certainly didn’t want Santi up in Manchester
holding my hand.
Certainly not now, not since I’d become a monster.
I wanted to be
alone.
The problem was I had no money, the rent was due and I was running out of options.
Cassidy
I woke up lying on the bathroom floor, my head facing the sink unit
and various members of staff leaning over me. I felt sticky, I felt hot, so hot and every part of me was
throbbing in pain.
“Cass,” Rebecca was leaning over me, “we’ve called Jack.” She said
breathlessly, her hand squeezing mine. I couldn’t look at them, I turned my head away, the words
just wouldn’t come. That’s when the paramedics entered the bathroom and she let my hand fall
from hers. I led on the floor whilst the paramedics asked for my name, speaking to me slowly, asking
me questions and I tried to answer but my brain couldn’t tell my voice to work. I heard the words
but somehow they didn’t compute.
I was loaded into the ambulance, the lights were
flashing and I could see faces staring, judging, shaking their heads with disdain.
I was a
fully fledged fruit loop who no longer had a voice. I had lost all my senses and every aspect my
mental capacity. I was aware of this but lost the ability to let it bother me.
We made it to
the hospital, there was nobody sat there holding my hand. I was placed in a cubical, I vomited, I
silently sobbed and they took my blood.
If this wasn’t rock bottom then I had no idea
what was.
“Love,” a rotund nurse with a tight, unforgiving uniform said, placing her hand
on mine, “we’ve contacted hubby and he’s given mum and dad’s number.” I didn’t have the energy
to argue even though she was speaking to me like a child. I didn’t even move my head, keeping my
eyes trained on the various fliers pinned up around the room. The one I kept my eyes on was
offering help for weak bladders.
“You’ll be fine girl,” she said rubbing my arm
gently, I didn’t speak, “at the minute it feels as if the world is over, it feels like you’re down a dark pit
and there’s no way out but love, let me promise you that one day you’ll find the light and somehow
it’ll all be right.”
I moved my head slowly, even though pain jolted through me as I did
and I looked at her seeing sympathy in her tired eyes. She moved her hand to my forehead and held
the eye contact, “I’ve been here love, I promise it will get better.” I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even
tell her how nice it felt for her to rub my head.
I didn’t believe a word she said, I didn’t in
that moment ever imagine that I would feel one iota of happiness ever ever again.
Desi
“Dad’s in hospital,” Santi said when I finally answered the phone, after a text full
of swear words and ten missed calls. “He’s had a heart attack.”
“Oh,’” I mumbled, “Um, will he
be okay?” My voice sounded strange, it was the first time it had been used in a week or so.
“I
don’t know man, it’s serious, he’s on a machine, you need to get down
here.”
“Um,” I
rubbed my head as my mind desperately tried to think of a reason why I couldn’t do that.
“He’s
our dad you idiot, our only fucking parent and he needs you.”
“Okay,” I said defeated,
“fine.”
“Good.” Santi said, “when are you setting off?”
“Actually,” I said gruffly, “actually I
think I’m just gonna come home .. for good.” My announcement was met with resounding silence
and I tried to still my breathing so I could hear his response.
“What’s happened up there Des?”
Santi asked, his voice seemed pained by my omission.
“I’m done.” I said simply, “Nothing left
up here for me.”
He was quiet again, “be good to have you back Des,” he said simply.
We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I sighed and looked around my apartment, there wasn’t
much to pack and I didn’t want any of the furniture. Nothing that I owned was something that I
couldn’t live without. I packed a few suitcases and stuffed as much as I could in my car.
It
was time to go back and accept that my life had fallen apart. It was time to go back to the town that
had once been my home.
I admitted defeat and that I hadn’t managed to find happiness.
It was time to realise that life wasn’t meant to be peachy for me, as soon as something was going
right I would fuck it up and force it be snatched away.
I was on my arse and I needed
help.
I was heading back to Tolvey and I couldn’t have felt worse about it.
Tolvey – An insight into the town from ‘Beautiful
Imperfection’
Small-town Tolvey is a beautiful idyllic tourist town that boasts scenic
seaside views. It is a sleepy, Cornish town full of proud locals who keep the tourists happy with
quaint tea rooms and scenic walks. The history of the town is prominent in many features such as
the Town Hall that dates back to 18th Century and many of the stone, seafront cottages that boast
similar timelines.
Most of the locals have lived in the town their whole lives but are
happy to share their tranquil surroundings with newcomers as they pass through.
Clair
owns the local hairdressers and has lived in Tolvey her entire life, “this town is like a warm hug,
whenever I go on holiday I can’t wait to get back. I love coming home and finding out what’s been
going on while I’ve been away. I love that I know most people I pass on the street and that we all
look after each other, everyone is like an extended family.”
The people are definitely
friendly and welcoming, they keep each others businesses afloat by recommending local restaurants
and shops.
Desi owns the local fish and chip shop, “it’s a typical small town, everyone
knows everyone else and if I open the shop 5 minutes late there’s always someone at the door
waiting to get in. Hours later I’ll have people coming in asking me why I opened five minutes late. No
one has a secret in Tolvey.”
The local pubs are plentiful, for a small town there are eight
pubs and they are frequented by locals and tourists. They remain busy throughout the week as well
as weekends. Many people from surrounding towns will visit Tolvey for the atmosphere of a good
night out.
Callain, local bar man, “Tolvey isn’t Vegas and you won’t be out until 4 am but the
place has life and the pubs are reasonable. The Cornish like a drink and so do the tourists, so we
never struggle for business. I’m born and bred Tolvey but have just got back from travelling so I’ve
introduced a more eclectic cocktail menu.”
The town is full of diverse and interesting
people who are happy to share their lives with visitors. They are a friendly, close knit community
who are entangled within each others lives and work together to keep their town afloat. It is
reminiscent of the family orientated environment that people enjoyed fifty years ago where society
took the time to know each other and were involved in each others lives.
Gary, local
greengrocer, “I moved my family here thirty years ago because I wanted something different for my
children than what I had growing up. I gave them an identity amongst this group of people whereas
they would have been just another face on the street in the city. This town isn’t just home for me,
it’s my slice of heaven. I think being around these people has made me value the small things in life
that I didn’t notice before, like camaraderie, kinship and most importantly love.”
Tolvey
is a wonderful place to visit if you get the chance. However it isn’t just the views, the heritage and
the attractions that make it appealing … it’s definitely the people.
The Benefits of Exercise
By Desi Cardwell
(Main
Character from ‘Beautiful Imperfection’) – former PE teacher, gym owner and eventual Personal
Trainer to Cassidy.
Exercise benefits the body in so many ways. Not only does it
enhance the body’s appearance, it also boosts your self-esteem and hence your outlook on life. It
has a magical quality to improve your mood, increase your energy levels and allow you to be more
restful when you are relaxed.
1. The first step is beginning, make that decision to start
exercising and make a change to your body.
The exercise needs to be diverse in order to
hold your interest, keep you motivated and ensure that as many muscles as possible are flexed. A
mixture of aerobic and weights is preferred in order to burn as much fat as possible whilst toning
these areas and replacing fat with muscle.
2. In order to see a change you must eat
healthily, all the exercise in the world cannot cancel out a bad diet. It’s true you are what you eat.
3. Once the regular exercise begins there will be a number of changes, you may see an
increase in appetite and energy levels. Ensure only fresh, healthy food is consumed and utilise the
energy levels to organise other areas of your life.
4. Once the exercise becomes habitual
you will start to see physical changes in your body, these changes will increase self esteem and also
lift your mood. They will also inspire you to continue.
5. After each work out hormones
within the body will increase - testosterone for men and oestrogen for women. These hormones will
flow around the body and increase the potency of the male/ female sexuality, therefore increasing
confidence and self-assurance.
6. Exercise will cause endorphins to flow throughout the
body that are produced by the central nervous system and pituitary gland. These provide a type of
euphoria that enhances your mood.
In summary when the body is exercising there are
known improvements in physical appearance, energy levels, confidence, happiness and these
positive changes will lead to an improved outlook on life.
Interview with the Edwards’
(Characters from
‘Beautiful Imperfection’
Angela - Cassidy’s Mum
Gary – Cassidy’s Dad
Callain –
Cassidy’s younger brother)
How difficult was it when Cassidy first came
home?
Gary – It was pretty tough, we were desperate for her to be well and recover
but we didn’t want to push her too much.
Angela – It was like having a moody teenager back
in the house, one slamming doors, ignoring my advice and smoking in her bedroom
Callain –
They should be thankful it was just her and not all four of us kids
What were your
first impressions of Desi?
Angela – Well of course we’ve known the family for years
but out of him, his brother and his father he was definitely the quiet one. So quiet in fact he seemed
moody really. Perhaps the most affected by his mother leaving.
Gary – Of course he seemed
like a nice enough chap, never did anyone any harm and Cassidy seemed to like him which was good
enough for me.
Callain – I thought he was far too hot to be a decent guy.
How
do you think that Cassidy coped being back in Tolvey?
Callain (laughs) – Completely
stifled, you can’t even fart in this town without it getting back to your parents.
Gary – I think
she struggled at first, felt like she’d failed having to return to us but ultimately I think she realised
that being back with us was helping her get better. You can’t beat being back with your old
parents.
Angela – Terribly! She hated being home with us and couldn’t hide her sneers no
matter how hard she tried but once she got some independence back at her grandma’s cottage
things definitely improved.
Were you surprised that Desi and Cassidy were so drawn
to each other?
Callain – I wasn’t surprised, two broken hearts pulling together, it’s
as old as time that story. Like Beauty and the Beast.
Gary – I hoped she would spend more time
alone before falling into another relationship but I think it helped her get better so much sooner.
Angela – I was not surprised, Cassidy has always had a habit of backing the underdog.
What are your hopes for Cassidy’s future?
Gary – I hope she’ll be happy.
Angela – I want her to find peace in whatever decisions she makes and I want her to have a good,
healthy, stable relationship so she never has her heart broken again.
Callain – I hope she buys
her own house so I can have Gran’s cottage
About The Author
Hayley
Oakes is a loving wife and doting mother. She loves being a mum and is a proud smother to a perfect
four year old girl. She works full time as well as writing and loves her job. She adores her work
friends who keep her sane, support her writing with vigour and are her biggest fans. She loves ‘the
100’, ‘the Goldbergs’, reading LOTS and is constantly concocting stories in her head!!
I have
been writing stories from a very young age, my very first tool was an electronic typewriter than my
Dad saved from being thrown away at work when I was ten. I tapped away on that for hours and
hours.
I have always told stories and written stories and my favourite ones are the ones
that people have told me. I collect people’s lives in my head, storing the most interesting and wacky
anecdotes that I utilise without even realising.
I also collect mannerisms and when I’m
with someone for long periods of time I start copying their facial expressions and habits. It’s a curse
but I am a natural mimic.
I love life and love making people laugh.
Stalkers Links
Comments
Post a Comment