Competing with my step-brother for my roommates attention makes me hate him so much more than I already do.
The Substitute, an all-new grumpy x sunshine, step-brother, MMM hockey romance from bestselling authors Andi Jaxon and J.R. Gray is now available!
I saved his life the same night I burned mine to the ground and now the guy who’s haunted my dreams for months is my new roommate. This should be great except I met him on the worst night of his life and all he sees is that I’m a hockey player.
Only made worse when my cocky, confident, infuriating step-brother, Savage, decides to flirt with Tobi to get under my skin.
Jealousy eats at me when I see life coming back into Tobi’s eyes when he smiles at his phone.
Savage knows it too, pushing me into competing for Tobi until my head is so twisted I don’t know what or who I want anymore.
Now I have to see his pretty face at my door and on the ice.
I can’t have my dream and both of them. The media will eat me alive.
Right?
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“I’ve thought about jumping, too. I’ve been in that same spot you are, with one foot hanging over the water.” His tone works its way under my skin and makes me believe him. “I’m just doing what I wish someone woulda done for me.”
I spin on him, shoving my face into his as I seethe my words through clenched teeth. “You know how it feels to be invisible? To have no one give a fuck about what happens to you or why? For the man you’ve loved since middle school to start fucking your brother and lie to your face about it for weeks? You know how that is?!”
I’m so close to him that I can see the warm brown of his eyes with flecks of yellow and green around the pupil. They’re beautiful. I’m glad I got to see them before—
He cups my face, and it surprises me, making me jump back. In the blink of an eye, I’m falling.
My butt slips off the rail, and I’m grappling for something to hold onto while the bottom of my stomach drops in a scream.
But I don’t want to end.
I just want to stop being invisible.
An arm bands around me like steel, and I desperately cling to the man saving me. My heart is pounding as I beg him to help me. In the longest and fastest second of my life, I’m pulled over the wall and fall onto him. My stomach turns, emptying the small amount of food I’ve had today onto the walkway while I tremble so badly, I can’t hold myself up.
The man who saved me slides to a seat with his back against the rail next to me, rubbing my back and saying things like ‘you’re okay.‘
I pull my knees into my chest and drop my head, sobbing. Every part of my body is shaking in a way I’ve never felt before.
I’m too weak to even do this.
He wraps me up in a hug, pulling me into his warm chest. I curl up in his lap like a child, clinging to his offered comfort. My pain soaks into his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s wrapped his entire body around mine as if he can keep me together by sheer determination and force of will. This sweet man doesn’t know I’m not worth the effort.
“Shhhhh. I’ve got you.” He repeats these words and rocks me while the cracks in my soul bleed out. How am I not dying of blood loss? Nothing will ever be okay ever again. I’m not even brave enough to end it all.
My eyes itch, and my throat is raw when the trembling finally settles, and his hold relaxes. He settles against the wall, still wrapped around me.
He’s cupped my head to his chest, where I can hear his heart beating and his slow breathing.
“I know how it feels when your brain is lying to you and telling you no one cares.” His voice is quiet and rumbles against my cheek. “I know how it feels to think that life is nothing but pain and suffering. I know how it feels to question what the damn point of life is.” Pain is etched into his tone by the time he’s said the last word, and there’s something about it that calls to me. My stupid fucking heart, ever hopeful. “But I promise there’s beauty in life, too.”
“What was your reason?” I whisper, almost afraid of his answer.
“My reason for what?”
“Your reason to stay.”
“I didn’t have one. But something held me back. Over and fucking over when I tried, there was something telling me I had something to do. Like a damn itch in my brain because I forgot to do something.” His thumb brushes my cheek.
“Did you ever figure out what it was?”
“I think it was you.”
For more information about Andi Jaxon and her books, visit her website:
For more information about J.R. Gray and his books, visit his website:
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