Title: Existential
Series: Fallen Aces MC #4
Author: Max Henry
Genre: MC Romance Suspense
How much suffering can a man withstand before he finally breaks? A question I used to ask myself often. Now I know the answer.
As president of the Fallen Aces MC Fort Worth chapter, Iām looked to for guidance in times of crisis. Iām expected to set personal grievances aside and lead by example. Yet how can I do that when those grievances robbed me of my family, my life? My reason to be at the head of the table?
My father: murdered. My baby sister: killed the same day. And my other sister? A mystery. Iām drowning in my desolation and yet nobody seems to care. Or maybe itās the fact I wonāt let them close enough to help? Either way, my losses are my own, and Iāll deal with them the only way I know howāby punishing myself.
Iāve got it all figured out, at least, I thought I did. Until one woman, a traveller passing by, unravels the master plan. I see it in her eyes, the same distance, the same feeling that she doesnāt belongāthat her time here is wasted.
One woman who mirrors me in every way, and suddenly I find a reason to hold off the reaper a little longer. A reason to stay at the head of the table. A reason to show those whoāve hurt me that, although they brought the beast to its knees, I wonāt lay down to die without a fight.
Existential is book number four in the Fallen Aces MC series, but can be read as a standalone.
āThe author has written an amazing story with so many twists and turns, suspense, and mystery that it keeps you intrigued and on the edge of your seat.ā - My Timeout Book Blog
āIt is packed with action, suspense and romance. The writing style is smooth and flows nicely between each POV.ā - United Indie Book Blog
āAnother gripping addition to this series. Be prepared for and intense ride. A definite recommend.ā - Reader Review
Reviewer: Raychel
Rating: 4 Stars
Existential by Max Henry is the 4th book in the series, it can be read as a stand alone and you have no problems keeping up. I know I didn't and now plan on going back and starting at the beginning. Existential is about two lost souls just existing until they come together and find in each other a reason to be more. It is packed with action, suspense and romance. The writing style is smooth and flows nicely between each POV. |
He reaches out and threads his fingers under mine, bringing our joined hands between us on the floor. āDo you think itās weak if a man admits his fears?ā
I frown, squeezing his hand tight. āNo.ā Why would he even think that? āI think itās honorable. It takes so much bravery to admit you have faults.ā
āYou think?ā
āI know.ā After all, arenāt I the authority on keeping faults a secret?
He sniffs, staring at the toes of his boots where they rest against the base of the washer. āSince everything went to shit last year, I get ā¦ I guess the only way to describe it is angry at myself.ā
āWhat for? Do you blame yourself for what happened?ā
His head drops back again, and he closes his eyes as his thumb traces a path on the back of my hand. āYeah, but I know I shouldnāt. Still, knowinā what Iām thinkinā is wrong doesnāt make it go away. I still blame myself for everything, still hate myself for it.ā
āThatās natural, though. You went through something traumatic, from what youāve said of it, so youāve got strong reactions that need a place to rest.ā
āI went on a bender after they died,ā he explains, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling. āDrank, binged on coke, picked fights with my friends, and it wasnāt until I couldnāt remember what it was like to be straight that I finally realized why I did it.ā
āDistraction?ā
āTo die.ā
A lump lodges in my throat as I take him in. At face value heās strength and dominance. Heās a huge guy, intimidating to those who donāt know him, with his black clothing, leather, and piercings. He puts out an image of power, over others, and himself. But underneath it all he hides this.
āDonāt,ā I utter. āDonāt say that again.ā
āWhy?ā He rolls his head to look me in the eye. āItās the truth, Dagne. I donāt want to do this anymore. Every day is hard. I wake up wishinā it was time to go to sleep again, dreadinā the day before itās even happened.ā His face moves through frustration and anger, glimpses of pain and despair between. āYou have any idea what itās like to just want to curl up in a ball and pretend the world doesnāt exist?ā
āYeah, I do,ā I say. āI also know what itās like to want to die. To know youāre too gutless to do it yourself, so you wish for something thatāll do it for you, like an illness, an accident, or a masochistic fucking father who hates the fact you breathe the same air as him.ā Hoochās eyes go wide, and I realize in that moment tears streak my cheeks. But fuck itāhe needs to hear it. āI also know what itās like to be hurt so bad that you finally believe that day has come, and in that second your foolishness and selfish thoughts come back to haunt you. What itās like to realize when youāre faced with your own mortality that you donāt want to die ā¦ you just wish you were someone else, living another life.ā
āDagneāā
āAh.ā I lift my finger to stop him. āNope. Iām not finished, mister.ā
A small smile plays at the corner of his lips, and he reaches out to wipe my tears. āCarry on.ā
āWhat you have to face is that you have the power to be somebody else. Fuck what your head tells you, Hooch. Your mind is a goddamn liar. It feeds off your fear, shows you your flaws while hiding your strengths. If youāre not happy,ā I say, jabbing him in the chest, āchange it. Do something about it. But donāt quit.ā
āIāve tried.ā He captures my hand, focusing on the flesh of my palm as he traces the lines with his finger. āI really have, but my batteryās run dry, girl.ā
āNo,ā I say, shaking my head. āIt hasnāt. You just havenāt found what charges it yet.ā
Max is the author of dark, and highly emotional romance. Her Butcher Boys series is centered around a group of ex-street kids who have teamed up with an indebted motorcycle club to take down a notorious drug lord. And her new series, the Fallen Aces MC, is a spin-off from this dark and dangerous world. Her writing has been described as 'gripping', and 'addictive', taking you on an 'emotional roller coaster ride'.
Originally born and bred in New Zealand, Max now resides with her family in beautiful and sunny Queensland, Australia. Life with two young children can be hectic at times, and although she may not write as often as she would like, Max wouldn't change a thing. When she's not engrossed in her dark and twisted fictional worlds, she can be found enjoying the outdoors while 4wd-ing with her family.
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